Dead rockstar Sir Pall McCartney is set to tour New Zealand for the the first time since his passing in 1966. The former Beatle was the first of the Fab Four to kick the bucket, and has been portrayed by lookalike Eddie Groves, a plumber from Hackney, ever since. Groves/McCartney is thrilled to be heading Down Under with a full backing band miming to pre-recorded tracks. “Yeah I’ve always wanted to go to NZ, my granddaughter moved out there about ten years ago so it’ll be good to meet the kids for the first time. Oh, and to make a shitload of money from idiots prepared to pay 300 quid to see a dead guy miming.”
Despite being a long-time vegetarian, McCartney died in a car-crash overdose drowning mystery in 1966 but has managed to maintain a partially lifelike appearance similar to that of the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards, who has subsisted on a diet of cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes for the last 58 years and has reportedly “never ate a fuckin carrot in me life”.
Tickets for McCartney’s ‘Afterlife’ tour will be on TradeMe at reduced prices a month after the concert doesn’t sell out.