Great party pic from @jaywolnelson.

Some recent encounters with new technology which is incompatible with other new technology in imperceptible ways has left a bit of a bitter taste. After an old man rant later, on my way home I was reminded of one of the best bicycles ever: the pub bike.

The pub bike is the spiritual predecessor to fixies. Universal objects, pub bikes are mismatched parts hung together in a bricolage of clashing colours. You build them by trawling your mate’s greasy bins of leftover bike crap, or by annoying bicycle shop staff by making a mess in their discarded parts bin. You spend too many nights bodging different bolts from different bits to make different generations of mountain bike and road bike gear mesh together.

You start ambitiously with seven speeds, be satisfied with three ok-ish speeds a few beers later, and spend almost all your time in one speed after the first ride. The bike gets some maintenance rarely, and mostly gets by with no maintenance at all.

The pub bike is great for kerb slams and skids (if you have good enough brakes). It always looks amazing accumulating scars from locking it against a lamp post, gaining surface rust from leaving it over the weekend at said lamp post, and giving that girl/guy you met a dub on the handlebars (or the top tube if you were particularly close).

Tired of bike talk? Go dig up an old bike, sink a few brews, slap some flats on it, and go around painting rainbows.

While these are some pretty fancy pub bikes, let the box of VB announce the evening’s intentions. Thanks for the photo @jaywolnelson.