Words: Kim Hurst  Images: Andrew Turner & Lisa Ng 

Alpha Charlie X-ray Foxtrot crossed the finish line before Delta bunnyhopped across the ditch to ruin the party. And thank fck for that. A second consecutive pandemic interrupted ACXF would have been a hard pill for the doc to swallow. 

Quicker than you can say “bell lap”, hoarders have cleared the shelves of flour and baking powder while banana bread recipes are undoubtedly rekindled. Ass wipes have stolen all the toilet paper. And we’re all back to tuning into the 1pm stand up for the latest intel. Ain’t nobody leaving the starting gates for a while. 

A mere week ago though, we got to party like it was 2021.

Lisa’s Nats gallery:

An unapologetically UCI-legit three-kilometre parcours hosted the raucous caucus. Size matters to the rule-writers in Switzerland. Huttcross set about meeting the demands of the tome. In true Kiwi style, a local engineer knocked up wider barriers in his backyard. The President’s fantasies of a large erection were satisfied with a World Cup style flyover that took a team of four a full day to construct. The 385-metre clay speedway circuit became a KOM (and QOM) earning opportunity. Power washers were delivered, and a double-sided pit was created complete with neutral support. 

AT’s Nats gallery:

In true Wellington form, the weather played its part during the celebrations. One hundred and twenty kilograms of astroturf formed the largest windsock in the Lower North Island as gale force gusts swept in from the coast. By dawn, ice encrusted six-kilometres of tape. A hard frost made way to heavy mud as blue skies graced spectators. Conditions were perfect. Just add frites. 

Lisa’s AXCF Gallery:

Also add, dinosaurs with chainsaws. A topless dude with a megaphone. Mullets. Dubious beverages. Santa Claus versus Mr Christmas. Mums versus daughters. Sisters doing it for themselves. A triple Olympian. Borrowed bikes. Toe spikes. The newly crowned NZ Tracklocross Champion ripping the cranks off it to make the wide-angle podium in the Men’s Elite race. With just one gear. And a freewheel for a change.  

The imported CX fans, now residents, from Britain and Australia were determined to force a dismount from even the most trickster steezy riders. An off-camber traverse led to a short steep descent with a 180-degree hairpin exiting into steps. Made more awkward by the right-hander rewarding those who had spent time rehearsing a dirty side dismount. Or Hollywood twist. It was inevitable that this section would impose itself on riders as Heckle Hill. Shoulder, shoulder, shoulder. 

AT’s ACXF Gallery:

Fans got rowdy. Battles fought to the line. Titles were earned. Skate decks were auctioned. The MC lost her voice and anticipates sounding more like Kim Hill than Hurst when the footage debuts on Sky. 

Most importantly, everyone got a fcking good hit out on bikes with mates. Some made new mates. And cyclocross made a lot more friends. Long live, bike racing. Especially in the drops.