Technically they’re not cut-offs at all, but they’re cool. I’ve been looking for a riding short that resembles my beloved but now-defunct Giro New Road shorts, but nothing (except maaaybe some Rapha ones, hideously expensive and, Rapha) fit the bill, or in this case my arse. MTB shorts are way too baggy for anything other than MTB’in, and you just can’t do road and lycra with a thatch of hair on the pins. You just can’t. I’ve tried. You just can’t. OK?

So while looking for info on some ‘Apocalypse-Proof’ parts for my bike (it’ll become clearer soon, very soon) I spotted a chap wearing some fetching shorts which seemed to be exactly what I was looking for; the right combination of tight and baggy, the right length, and black. Delve into the comments section and yes, someone else wanted to know what they were. Ripton. Diesel. Jorts. Jorts? That term to me has always conjoured up an image of some boring git who didn’t know whether to wear trousers or shorts so decided fuck it, I’ll take the middle ground, and no I won’t wear socks with my boat mocassins. But they’re not like that. At least I don’t think so just based on a few photos and other people’s opinions, because mine haven’t arrived yet!

In the meantime you can get a feel for the denim purveyors’ M.O by watching this video. There’s a sweet old Honda Accord but a few too many satanic hand gestures for my liking. The kids just don’t know these days do they.