Barrie ‘Bloody Knuckles’ Wallington going full enduro en route to picking up his gold card. Dan Sharpe

Words Tom Adams. Images Dan Sharpe / www.visualsby.me and Edward Wilcock @edwardwilcockphotography

First a brief backstory. In 2015 Aidan Forrest and myself decided to run a low-key, low-budget, low-everything enduro at Wellington’s Makara Peak Bike Park. We used Noel Leeming kitchen timers at each stage start and finish, and riders recorded their own times on a piece of paper. We wanted to include easier tracks for intermediate riders, and hard tracks for good riders, and to allow everyone to choose their own tracks. We got around the multiple tracks timing issue by setting a ‘par-time’ for each stage, like a par in golf, and a rider’s time was their total difference above or below par on their choice of tracks. And so ‘enduro-golf’ was born, thematically supported by Tiger Woods mainly because he was popular in the news at the time.

Freshly scrubbed – in bike if not in person, Jacob O’Donoghue-Price. Ed Wilcock

It turned out the whole par-time thing was a bit complex and flawed, and the results were heavily skewed by whether riders chose a soft par or a bedrock-hard one, and also whether they chose to tell the truth on their time cards. So in 2016 we ditched the par-times, and instead riders amassed points based on their finish position on each stage. We then totalled their best three results from five possible tracks, so riders could still pick their prefered stages. The freedom to choose led to the 2016 Donald Trump Freedom Enduro. We actually hired in timing, at reasonable expense, but our contractor cocked things up spectacularly and 150 riders went home with a good day’s riding, but no results. I went home with a whole stack of medals with Donald’s smug grin on them, and no idea at all in my head that the butt of all of our jokes would go on to win the US Presidency.  

With Makara Peak being within riding distance of the CBD, pros were outweighed by groms 10:1. Ed Wilcock

Roll on to 2017, and having opened the doors on satirical stage racing, we took a look at the available populist politicians, and quickly decided to bring it back home to Winston. The cantankerous Northlander, beloved by old people and those who are impressed by a party which has ‘New Zealand’ in its name. Winston who, like Trump, likes to tell just about everybody that they can all be First, all at the same time. And so the Enduro First Enduro emerged.  

Props to the guys taking the NZ First propaganda all the way to the podium. Dan Sharpe

Five stages were set up around the venerable ridges and valleys of Makara Peak. Ranging from grade 5 on Trickle Falls for the most technical, to grade 3 on Peak Flow for the most flowy, riders could choose three stages most to their tastes and put down some times. Restarts, reruns and as many stages as possible in three hours were all permissible, although some tough climbs prevented all but a handful from ticking off all five. Sandwiched between the weekends of the NZ Enduro and the EWS, we were also treated to a few overseas pros who showed up and schooled the locals despite hitting each track blind.  

This time powered by the Wellington Mountain Bike club’s brand new chip-based timing system, times were collated within minutes of the last rider returning to base. Customs permitting, Winston’s cheesy grin will now make its way back to a medal cabinet in Switzerland with Norco’s Max Chapuis for taking the win in Open men. In the open women up-and-coming 16 year old Khulan Tumen stepped up to the adult category for tougher competition, and still took the win against overseas pros. Full results can be found here:

Swiss pro Max Chapuis took out Open men from Tom Bradshaw and Sam Shaw, despite having never ridden any of the tracks before. Dan Sharpe

The logistics of a race in a popular urban bike park are pretty hard. With only a narrow window when the park was closed to the public, a team of volunteers marked, swept, and marshalled within some tight constraints. The volunteers did an awesome job, and everything ran smoothly. 150 racers had a great day, no-one got badly hurt, the bbq and kegs of beer were cranking when riders returned and the vibe on the hill was relaxed. Winston would be very pleased.

Angus Thompson giving it full noise down Trickle Falls. Dan Sharpe

On a final note, we never foresaw Trump winning after we named the race after him. This year the racing was all about Winston, and, well, it is an election year…

Steve Wallace ducks low to fly under the telecoms radar. Ed Wilcock

See you all in 2018 for what may or may not be called the Kim Jong-UnDuro. Whatever it is, you can expect the same easy vibe and great riding with a side of nuclear weaponry. Thanks heaps to all of our volunteers who gave up their time, Wellington Mountain Bike Club for the timing and organisation, Makara Peak Supporters for the use of their park, Mud Cycles for the use of their shop, beer and BBQ, and the ongoing generosity of our sponsors. They were RED clothing, One Fat Bird bar in Karori, Yeastie Boys for providing every volunteer with a box of beers, Mud Cycles, Maxxis, Spank, Marleens, and Whittakers.

Sun’s out guns out Carrie McLachlan on her way for the fastest times in all the women’s categories. Dan Sharpe

John Jacob on a very familiar corner. Ed Wilcock

Tracks varied from flowy Northface (shown), to steep and rocky Trickle Falls. Dan Sharpe

With five tracks up for grabs at any point, queues were short. Ed Wilcock

A BBQ and keg beers on return always make for a good atmosphere. Dan Sharpe

Maxwell Wickens, local pinner and U19 winner. Ed Wilcock

Paul Gray going hard on his hardtail. Ed Wilcock

Good to see Makara’s tracks put fear in the eyes of eventual winner Max Chapuis, team Norco. Dan Sharpe

Fresh berms on Zac’s Track. Ed Wilcock

Luka Goeres, representing his own brand RED clothing, who provided a stack of clothing for the spot prizes. Ed Wilcock

Tracks were kept secret until the night before the race. Tom Adams